He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sext me about skeletons
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
