I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
