he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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