so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My ATM looks so different sober.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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