What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
