you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
