what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
