I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
