Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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