no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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