So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This is my gift to your gina
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
