shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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