my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
