My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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