Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
