I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
