dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
