Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
