Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
