you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
