Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
