my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
