at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
