We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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