I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
