it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
