I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
