I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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