i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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