If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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