Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
