I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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