yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
