I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dignity is for republicans.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
