haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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