I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
