I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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