You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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