Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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