New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
