oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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