If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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