yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
