Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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