You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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