When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
