I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
