She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
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Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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