I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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