what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
only if we run a train.
done.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
