this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Mom said you looked used
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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