you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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