Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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