no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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