Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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