Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
