I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
