he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
