At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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