I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
